We are all very hard on ourselves. Where did the expectations begin for us, or for you, more specifically?

Thanks to life experiences and many years of Life Coaching, I feel that most of our “shoulds” come from external sources – society, family, religion, etc. How many of you really know WHO the inner you is? I am talking about the inner you, the inner voice, that place we hesitate to go to that exists deep inside. The place where we might hear our truth -- and it might mean dealing with change or conflict, and might take us out of a comfort zone to listen, or better yet, follow the directions.

If you are aware of your deep inner being and you live your life in alignment with it, BRAVO! You are well on the way for many new years.

So, here's what I believe. In order to begin the year with the real you, one has to be in contact with the real you. It is essential to find a place where it's quiet and we can be alone. (I am a great believer in journaling one’s feelings, as they are then validated on paper and psychologically more likely to become part of your sub-conscious process. Once you know the “feelings” of what was, or was not, successful for you in the past year or years, you can begin to imagine or envision what it would “feel” like to be participating in your ideal life scenarios.) The chance that you will successfully achieve your new year's resolution is much stronger if you can visualize a year from now (or later), and your wishes, dreams or goals are completed. How will you feel in that completed situation or state and how will it look? Use all your major senses when visualizing and imagining this, not only how it looks, but how it sounds, smells, or feels (to touch). Can you visualize yourself at the finish line like the successful athletes do in their visualization exercises?

Other ways to empower the visual aspect of your dreams is to create a collage of your end results. This is a very right brain activity that accesses your more creative instincts. Playing music while making your collage increases the creativity process. Play your favorite type of music, or I would suggest Mozart, as much work is done using his works for developing creativity. I offer workshops including meditation and other exercises to go deeper into the inner self, discovering the real you and creating your collage.

If you have friends, partners or family that you are comfortable sharing with, support is very important. (Alone, if you don’t do it, nobody will know, and then we are back to the old resolutions unresolved.) The buddy system works beautifully especially if you set up some system for accountability and regular contact to assist each other staying on track.

There are many books about setting goals as well as newspaper and magazine articles this time of year. There are also many coaches available that can assist with life directions.

I encourage you to take the steps above staying true to you, and I am sure you will be surprised at the magical results. Where will you be at one year from now?